brain cancer

Today, Sam would have turned 11 years old.  For those of you who might be reading this for the first time, Samuel Alexander Jeffers was born on 4/2/2005.  Suddenly, and out-of-the blue, on 9/20/2012 he was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  On 10/20/2013 he died. Certainly a lot of things happened in those intervening years between Sam�s birth and death:  some mundane; many truly spectacular, precious and cherished; and some ghastly and tragic.  April 2nd, 2009-Sam's 4th birthday. He asked for a cow. Sam should have had many, many more years to his timeline.  Many more opportunities to experience the mundane and spectacular alike.  Instead, Sabrina and I now mark the passage of time with memories and �celebrate� unfulfilled or incomplete milestones. We continue to honor his name and celebrate his life and spread the gifts he gave us through our work at the Foundation that we established in his name, whose primary mission is to eradicate childhood cancers b...

Two years ago today our Sam lost his battle with brain cancer.   Often it seems like it was just yesterday when we held his hand, hugged him, kissed him, whispered �I love you� over and over again softly in his ear.   We wanted Sam to know�desperately wanted him to know�how much we loved him, before he was gone.   Before it was too late.   It is of course trite to say �love them while they are here�.    We know that.    But it never really hits you with its full magnitude until you lose someone so special, and so very dear to you.    Someone that you felt connected to from the first moment you saw them, and whom you felt completely inseparable from.    Someone who you never could have possibly imagined you would outlive.    Someone who it was simply unthinkable that you would have to bury. As we have written before, losing Sam in many ways still doesn�t seem real.    There are times when I actually think to ...

Dear Sammy, I once told you that you had the power to change the world.  You didn�t believe me, so we went outside and dropped a tiny pebble in the birdbath.  As we both watched the ripples, I said: �There do you see that?  That tiny pebble caused waves that went all the way over to the other side.�  You said �Wow� and I looked at you and told you that you�re just like that pebble.  What you say and what you do; how you treat people and how you make them feel, really matters.  If you say nice things and do great deeds and treat people well and make them feel special, you will change the world.  Because those things spread out like ripples on the water. Little did I know Sammy, that you would in fact change the world.  Your smile.  Your laugh.  Your kindness.  Your personality.  Your humor.  All those things and more spread out like ripples on the water.  And the ripples touched a lot of people and they were felt far a...

May 29th.  Two years ago today we learned that Sam would certainly die from his cancer in days, weeks, or months. From September 20, 2012 until May 29th, 2013 we believed that Sam would survive for years, maybe even grow to be an adult-graduate from high school, go to college, find a career, find love. The point is, we had hope. We knew cancer created all sorts of obstacles and bumps in the road. We knew there would be symptoms to be managed, treatment that would cause short-term and long-term side effects, we knew he would be sick sometimes. We never imagined he would be dead within 13 months of diagnosis. That's the significance of May 29th. I wanted to express here what a difficult time of year this is.  School is wrapping up and proud parents are posting pictures of their children as they graduate from preschool, kindergarten, elementary school, middle school...and so on. There are awards ceremonies where your child is recognized for their achievements in math, their progr...

     Today, April 2, 2015, we will celebrate what would have been Sam�s 10th birthday�if celebrate is the correct word to use. Perhaps honor would be a better word.   Whatever words there are to describe the situation, they all fall short. There are simply no words that can adequately describe the emotions felt by a mother or father who has lost a young child. We miss Sam terribly. We miss his smile, his laugh, his charming disposition. We miss everything about him.       We will never know exactly what kind of person he would be today, what he would look like, what he would sound like, what his interests would be. We can guess, but we will never know. For us and our memories of Sam, time has frozen. Sam is Forever 8.       In the last year, we've done many things to honor Sam: We planted trees. We dedicated a bench and library corner at his school. We collected $2600 in coins from his former school mates. We hel...

One year. The passage of time since Sam died means nothing and everything to me at once.  For an instant I can capture the memory of Sam's last moments as though they happened yesterday, yet I feel like I've been living without him for a very long time.   That Sam is gone at all still leaves me stunned, yet there are times when I can scarcely believe he was ever here at all.  On the one hand I am devastated and immobilized, on the other even I am dumbfounded at my ability to continue to live this life.  Recently I was confronted with the idea of my own mortality. Like many women, I was called in for a second look after my annual mammogram. This was a first for me, and women don't talk about this frequent request for additional images so I assumed of course that I had breast cancer. I assumed I, like Sam, would die of my cancer.  Now all this drama happened over the course of only 3 days but at some point while I was imagining my demise, weeping more than usual, ...

     John and I would like to thank everyone who supported the Lemonade and Love for Sam Luau last weekend�all of you who helped organize, set-up,  run a stand, or clean-up; or who donated time, money, and energy to this great event�Thank You!!!  I don�t know how many people ended up coming, but it was a lot.  We raised a lot of money (still being counted) and a lot of awareness for the childhood cancer cause�.and we couldn�t be more proud of everyone who participated and contributed and helped make this happen.  Many of you came from near and far to be a part of it and we want you to know that we appreciate each and every one of you and all of your efforts!      Speaking of raising awareness and money for childhood cancer, for the last few months John and I have been working on setting up our own non-profit charitable foundation.  We are proud to now be able to announce that the Samuel Jeffers Childhood Cancer Foundation is a real...